Is gratuitous child abuse a good reason to become a serial killer tag-team? How does one become world-famous via a small-town wax museum? Are the brothers still getting like, mail and stuff? And most importantly, does Paris Hilton actually believe an internship at InStyle Magazine can support a $3k/month apartment in TriBeCa?
How is THIS the movie that features TWO future Governors? Is Carl Weathers or Bill Duke the most believable actor in the movie? How many misogynistic Shane Black jokes is too many? And most importantly, what did John McTiernan go to jail for?
We're joined by two guests, comedians Jesse Vandenbergh (Bridge and Tunnel at The PIT, Frog Boyz Animation) and Annie Woller (Reckless Theatre) to answer the tough questions, like: If you didn't watch the extended edition, did you even actually watch the film? What, if any, is the connection between Aragorn and Eragon? And most importantly, what drug is Sam taking that keeps so relentlessly optimistic?
Why would you start a space movie underwater? Does the whole movie take place over one weekend? Who made the decision to remove Scotty from 60% of this movie? And most importantly, should you have let Khan SLEEP?!
Not to nitpick, but how does the virus work at a microbial level? Can it get ya if you bite your cuticles to short? Can it get ya if you don't wash your hands well enough and then pick your nose later on? And most importantly, was this movie ALWAYS THIS BLURRY?
Why do the prawns like cat food so damn much? Why are the Nigerians so quick to start eating the aliens? Why is everything about this movie so constantly gross? And most importantly, who is doing all the filming?
Comedian Molly McGaughey (Everything is Falling Apart) joins us to discuss one of our all-time favorites to answer the important questions like Why did Samuel L. Jackson go to that Circuit Breaker alone during a Dinopocalypse? Why was that Circuit Breaker not attached to the control room anyway? Do we only believe the Science because it's told to us by a cartoon? Is now the time for that monologue, Mr. Hammond? And most importantly, why does no one care about the death of Gennaro?
Why do the little girls continue selling cookies once they're out of the orphanage? Is Dr. Nefario an evil genius, or a bumbling idiot? How is Vector always in the right place at the right time? And most importantly, what kind of world-ending disasters are caused by the shrinking of the Moon?
We welcome back resident Star Wars Nerd Jessica Ryan Woodard to ask the important questions like: Why is Obi-Wan holding Anakin BACK? Is Ewan McGregor's sex appeal worth 9 theatrical viewings of a movie? What did sand ever do to Anakin? And most importantly, who the hell is Sifo-Dyas?
What's Totoro thinking when he stares lifelessly at children? Are the Soot Sprites at all relevant to anything? Is it acceptable to ask children you just met to call you Granny? And most importantly, are the seats inside the CatBus organic structures? Like, what are they MADE out of?!
Isn't Ben Willis hot in the North Carolina Summer while wearing that rain slicker? If his motivation is revenge, why does he kill so many people that weren't involved in the accident? And, most importantly, does the killer even understand the logistics of a meat hook as a murder weapon?
We ask the important questions with Broadwaysted's Kevin Jaegar: Is the Phantom's horse Christine's drugged-out fever dream? What's the deal with the graveyard swordfight? Is there anything more American than this British show? And most importantly, why, in a movie about singing in an opera, can nobody sing?
Why did this director have 2 eight year olds kiss? How did Reese avoid jailtime when she assaulted the mayor of New York City? How did no one recognize Kevin Sussman? And most importantly, is cancer cat immortal?
Why would you walk into an active street if you know Death is after you? What would your childhood be like if your parents named you Clear Rivers? WHAT ARE THE RULES?! And most importantly, do you know everything there is to know about Randy Stone?
If Watchmen is the worst, is this the best usage of the song "Hallelujah" in film? Did Farquaad really die a horrible death at the hands of a bloodthirsty dragon? Who decided Robin Hood should be a French musical theatre star? And most importantly, did somebody once tell me the world was gonna roll me?
NOTE: Our mic didn't record this episode correctly. Rather than re-recording, we decided to keep it - but replaced our microphone for all future episodes. Sorry 'bout it!
Blissfully, we get to talk about a good movie from our collection this week. Does this still hold up against Silicon Valley? Is it even possible to choose a favorite quote? Might Stephen Root be the greatest actor of all time? And most importantly, can you watch it without letting the existential dread about your job set in?
We bring on our first guess, resident Star Wars nerd Jess Woodard, to discuss such burning questions as: Does Qui-Gon have a crippling gambling addiction? Why is this movie filled with racist caricatures? How does Palpatine go undetected, when he's so transparently evil? And most importantly, is Naboo paying its taxes?
How are we all dealing without having a Blockbuster to stroll through to pick your date night DVD? Did you know this movie is not actually "Snatch"? Why does Mark Strong's narration just disappear halfway through? And most importantly: What the hell is going on with that painting?!
What's the difference between "Don't Breathe" and "Hush"? Why is Roy from The Office the worst cop in the history of cops? What is Clark Gregg even doing in this movie? And most importantly: how many minutes do you have left on your phone this month?!
In this episode we discuss:
-The correct pronounciation of the word “Siege”
-How the movie disappeared from the face of the Earth after 9/11
-Dave’s questionable movie taste in the 90’s
-When good actors turn in bad acting